Ahhh, I thought it was about time for a sculptor… Damn right and funnily enough, most people will have seen Negret’s work in Bogotá without having a clue who he is…

Are you going to enlighten us? Yep. Have you seen that tall red ‘cascade’ sculpture in Parque Virrey? That’s Negret’s work, his speciality was structures, usually in metal. Born in Popayán, he studied at the Fine Arts school in Cali. As a constructivist sculptor, he was one of the most prominent in Colombia in the 20th Century. He did fantastic works inspired by the sun too – I think you can still see one of them at the José María Córdoba airport in Medellín and there are others all around the world. El Maíz is one of the most famous – it’s displayed at the Art Museum of the Americas in Washington DC.

There was something sad about Negret too, right? Well, he died in Bogotá on his 92nd birthday (October 11, 2012) if that’s what you mean. But I’m not sure any of us could complain about living to 92?

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

@thebogotablonde

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That sounds awful… It would be awful, if it wasn’t so funny…

I assume a sulk is what I think it is… Oh, it’s exactly that. The cold shoulder and highly disappointed face that follows any sort of rejection, from refusing to go home with a young man to explaining how you would just like to be friends.

How can you say it’s funny? Well, that’s the best part. Anyone with a real problem – i.e someone who is in a genuine sulk or angry about something serious – feels it deeply. It’s difficult to make them laugh. But a guy in a fake sulk can’t help himself. If you call him on his pretence and have a good giggle about it, he’ll end up laughing too.

Ridiculous! I know. But even a fake sulk shows they’re trying. Not that I’ve ever seen it work.

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

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This is one of my favourites… I know, it is so unfortunate. A beautiful, blonde friend of ours was trying to politely describe an arroz en bajo relationship she’d experienced in Santa Marta to some posh Colombian friends. The relationship hadn’t ended well but she was determined to convince them she hadn’t been left broken hearted by her first Colombian dating experience…

Right, so she decided to tell them… that it had been an adventure. That her experience had been new, exciting and a good way for her to learn about the dating differences between her home and this beautiful country. The conversation took place over dinner.

And the problem was? Well, she used the word aventura which does translate as adventure but more troublingly, also means affair. And that was exactly how they took it. The old man almost choked on his arroz con pollo. She won’t make that mistake again!

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

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Ha, a typical woman’s bar… yep and that’s just how we like them. Lipstick is fabulous – dusky pink, half-hidden and with a tribute to Amy Winehouse painted on the wall. It’s a great place for a date but equally, you could just get the girls together and go dancing.

What’s the story? Lipstick is mostly the brainchild of Cartagena model and TV presenter Adriana Tono and nightlife guru Gerónimo Basile, so it carries the sort of Bogotá jet set crowd you might expect. But, more importantly, the live music is fabulous and Lipstick has so many hidden nooks and crannies, you never know where the night may lead…

Who should I take? Oh just take The Psychologist. Hopefully he’ll be too overwhelmed by all the Girl Power to start on his psycho-babble and anyway, if he does, the live music should drown it nicely.

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

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I knew Jane Austen would eventually make an appearance… Me too! And this one in particular reminds me so much of Colombian dating. It also happens to be one of my favorites.

Why? Okay, so the heroine is lovely old Anne Elliott, whose sister and father conspire to stop her marrying the man she loves, Frederick Wentworth, when she is just 19. Most of the story takes place when she is 27, single and still in love with Captain Wentworth. He is single too but, burned by her rejection, is determined to be with any woman but her.

And this is Colombian how? Because Captain Wentworth is such a rolo! He is upset that she rejected him but rather than pursuing the cause and finding out that she was actually forced into it (and that she still loves him) he masks his disappointment with pride and goes running after every woman in sight. The whole thing could have been sorted if he had only spoken to her about it.

Ha! Switch Bath, England for Bogotá, Colombia and… Exactly. I love this book. And I also see it unfold every day…

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

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That’s not Spanglish, it’s a hearing problem… Okay, okay, but it’s still a real danger. A friend of mine was over excited to hear the words ’Te amo’ (I love you) at the end of a phone call when what she was really being told was something akin to ‘Te llamo’. They can be similar to the untrained ear.

Sometimes the woes of blonde girls here really makes me want to weep… Don’t be sarcastic, this is a serious thing! Imagine if someone really does tell you ’te amo’ and you think it’s ’te llamo’ so you say something like “Okay, cool, talk later…”

Surely it’s worse the other way around? Ha! Yes! “I love you too… oh, what… sorry, you’re just calling me later… okay… er, scratch that, I don’t love you at all…er, amigo.” Yes, that is definitely not a mistake you want to make. If in doubt, always assume he is saying ’te llamo’…

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

@thebogotablonde

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Why should I worry? Surely, the clue is in the title. We all know the amount of research that goes into manipulating people to behave in a certain way (I hope to share some tips here) but there are some guys who take it way too seriously. They know the tricks of dating to the extent that you’ll end up going out with them even when you don’t want to. It happened to me.

How? Oh they’ll do everything from negative comments to modifying their tone of voice to make you feel attracted to them. There’s loads of stuff on the Internet if you’re not afraid to look.

How do I recognise him? He may wear weird clothes (google Peacocking) or talk to you in a familiar or abrupt manner, designed to break through your barriers. Worse, he just looks like any other guy in any other bar.

How can I escape? Google. There’s no other way I can save you. Good luck!

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

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Good Lord, are you giving driving advice now? Hardly. I’m talking about the speed of Colombian dating. Personally, I prefer it but it takes some getting used to. Mostly because it’s so different to the speed with which we date in the US, England, Australia etc.

Explain! Well, if we meet someone we like we generally see them pretty soon. It wouldn’t be outrageous to meet someone on a Thursday, see them on Saturday, then again on Wednesday, then Saturday etc. If you liked them and vice versa.

But in Colombia? The pace is different. I don’t know if it’s because lots of people are juggling with arroz en bajo, or because guys have to save their cash between dates or simply that people are more cautious. You can go weeks between dates without giving up hope.

I thought Latin guys were fast? Some may be but in terms of blonde girls, the guys who bombard you immediately are classics like The Trophy Hunter, The Desperate Dreamer and, worst of all, The Visa Vanquisher. Stick to the slow ones darling.

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

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Colombia’s Caribbean coast works its magic again! Yep, what a contribution that part of the world has made to Colombian creativity. Enrique Grau (1920-2004) was born in Panama to Colombian parents but raised in Cartagena. He did study in New York and spend time in Italy but soon returned to that magical city. He died in Bogotá at the grand old age of 83.

What about the work? In terms of subject choice, you can draw parallels with Botero because you’ll find an array of Colombian characters here and some of them, such as Joven con Paraguas, even garnish their sad, wistful expressions with a bit of extra weight. But that’s where the similarities end. There is real emotional intensity to Grau’s work.

Is the coastal influence obvious? I think it is. Besides his gorgeous paintings of Cartagena itself, Grau’s most widely recognised piece is probably La Mulata Cartagenera. You will definitely recognise her. Also check out some of his works that feature birds – if you take a look at those and watch a certain Alfred Hitchcock movie, you may never visit Cartagena again.

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

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Collective groan from blonde women everywhere! Agreed. Could we hate this any more?

You’d better define it, for those who are blissfully unaware… Okay, well there are many definitions of arroz en bajo but one is to imagine a crowded hob with various pans cooking. You’ve got the exciting food – the meat and vegetables etc. – cooking nicely with that big old pan of rice simmering quietly in the background.

And? Well, you keep the rice on low heat, because you never know when you’re going to need it again. Perhaps something goes wrong with the heart of the meal. Or perhaps you’re still hungry afterwards. Anyway, that’s the ‘low rice’ – the woman you keep calling or ‘stirring’ from time to time just to make sure she’s still around when you decide you need her.

Oh God, it’s horrendous. The trick is to try and figure out where you are. Nothing worse than thinking it’s nice with plenty of spice and then it turns out… you’re the rice.

♥

The Bogotá Blonde

@thebogotablonde

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